One more year by Kasey Chambers and Shane Nicholson

This is another song I really like and am inspired by. I'm not even sure why except maybe because I've been "two steps from the edge..." and I'm still waiting for someone to save me.

He was walking across the wire
Holding a loaded gun
Taking out every lightbulb
One by one

And she was building brand new walls
To keep her safe and sound
Sometimes a place to live
Is just a place to hide

One more year
One more year
Let's hold our breath
And give it just
One more year

Well he was sparks and gasoline
All fire and command
The warmest comfort dies
In the coldest hands

And she was two steps from the edge
But holding on somehow
Even God himself couldn't blame her now

One more year
One more year
Let's hold our breath
And give it just
One more year

Now he's working on a plan
Learning to make her smile
Maybe a change of pace
Or a change of style

And she's walking across the wire
Holding a loaded gun
Hoping that what we feel
Ain't what we've become


One more year
One more year
Let's hold our breath
And give it just
One more year

Quotes to live by

If you're an underdog, mentally disabled, physically disabled, if you don't fit in, if you're not as pretty as the others, you can still be a hero.
-- Steve Guttenberg

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”
-- Scott Hamilton
Placing one foot in front of the other, I've climbed to higher lengths. Reaching beyond my own limitations, to show my inner strength. No obstacle too hard, for this warrior to overcome. I'm just a man on a mission, to prove my disability hasn't won.
-- Robert M. Hensel

Soul Asylum Runnaway Train

This song has always been my favourite. I remember watching the video clip at age ten and feeling like it spoke to me.



Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep

It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray

CHORUS
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here no there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it

CHORUS

Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain

Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same

Care vs independence

I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
-- Helen Keller

This quote really grabbed me today. In being treated with the Methotrexate I am not able to do some of the things I could before (mostly due to fatigue and nausea) and some of the things I can do I cannot do as well as I used too. I'm struggling with the fact I'm less independent now than I ever was and there are big changes happening with my care situation and also my parents lives. I might be forced to move and will be relying on carers more and more. Its not something I like but I see very little I can do about it. Finding the balance between what I can do for myself and what I need help with has suddenly became hard.

Crazy month begins

Today is day 1 of crazy month. Not only am a studying 2 subjects but I am also doing both NaNoWriMo and Nablopomo. So I think I need to chain myself to my pc. Wish me luck.

NaNoWriMo

National Novel Writing Month is about to start and I’m on board. NaNoWriMo is a worldwide event where people commit to writing a 50,000-word novel during the month of November. (As a point of reference, Catcher in the Rye is about 50,000 words.)
I'm working on a Vampire story for my PWE class and am about ready to start writing so I'll just use it for NaNoWriMo. I'll keep you updated on my progress through this blog but if anyone else is doing NaNoWriMo I'm listed as girlonwheels.

NaBloPoMo

In an effort to get back on a regular posting schedule I am participating in NaBloPoMo again in November. I know that I'll be really busy on a few of the days and might struggle to come up with post ideas. So does anyone out there have any questions for me?

Prayer Requests

Just a quick note to let you all know I'm doing okay (still hurting but trying to solider on) and to ask for prayers for Melanie and Colbie.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/melanie

Melaine is in ICU with serious complications from H1N1. She is one of the first caringbridge kids I 'met' and her whole family is so special. They have been so supportive of me through out my journey. Please also say an extra prayer for her Mom, Amber, as she is several months pregnant and has H1N1 as well.

Colbie is a real sweetheart who has Mito and is also in ICU with complications from H1N1. www.caringbridge.org/visit/colbie
Thank you all.

inspiration

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... A church... A home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... We are in charge of our Attitudes.”

Need to do this

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

Ralph Waldo Emerson